The Man

So one of my last posts was about the new guy in my life. It's been about a year now, so it's not quite so new anymore.

The gooey, gushy rush of new love has passed. The bloom may not be entirely off the rose, but the petals have been wilting in the heat.

Don't get me wrong--I'm still in love. He's kind, funny, considerate, gentle--many great qualities that will stand us in good stead in the years to come. We are compatible in many ways, and I enjoy his company.

But there are no illusions. I know what he's like when he's angry, cranky, tired, sick--I know his bowel habits and his health issues, his body hair and his Achilles heel. Yet....

If you asked me to go back to the start, I wouldn't. I cherish the time when the facade drops and the real person emerges. The fragility, vulnerability, honesty....trusting another human with who you truly are. Knowing that they can take it, that they aren't afraid or disgusted.

The beauty of The Man is that he has allowed me to drop my facade as well. I am known, and loved, warts and all. The roses may be wilted, but this is the bouquet I'll hold on to.

Love Language

My sister had a birthday a while ago, and she was disappointed in the gift she got from her husband. She felt it was a little cold and impersonal, and that from her intimate partner (to whom she has been married quite some time) she should receive something more thoughtful.

Note that thoughtful does not mean more expensive in dollars, but it does mean more creative, or that it took more thought and planning.

We had a long talk about it. This has been the norm for many years--he's a good guy and treats her well, but he misses the point on her big occasions. He doesn't "get" that her love language is gifts.

I'm a big proponent of Love Languages. I read a book by Gary Chapman titled "The Five Love Languages," and ever since then I've applied the knowledge with my friends and family. He states that we each speak a particular "language of love" as our primary language. Since it is our "native tongue," it is how we speak love to the other people in our lives.

But what if their language is different? They won't understand what you are saying to them. Just like if I told you in German that it's time to walk the dog, if you only speak Spanish, Fido is going to get no exercise.

So the languages are Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Admiration, and Acts of Service. Once I started to grasp this concept, it became fairly easy for me to see where my primary language was, and how I had always tried to communicate to my loved ones that way. It became equally clear that they didn't share my primary language, and instead had been speaking to me in their primary language!

It has changed my relationships for the better to realize what makes each person tick--they recognize that I am communicating love to them when I make an effort to speak their language. I have also shared this information with many people, and they have recognized their own language fairly easily. Whether they put that knowledge to good use is up to them.

So what's your language? Do you feel like your partner speaks it to you? If not, figure out what he/she is always asking you for, and you have a good clue as to what their language is. Speak it to them, and you will fill their tank and let them know how loved they are by you. Show them what your language is, and see if they find ways to "translate" their love for you.

Time Flies

Well, folks, I didn't realize just how long I had been gone. Apparently what they say is true: time does fly when you're having fun.

And such fun I've had! Nothing major or unusual--no vacations, or trips, or concerts (yet), but even the day-to-day stuff of living is better when you have someone special to share it with.

Who'd have thought? Just 2 months ago I was ready to throw in the towel--give up, take a break, go on sabbatical from "the dating life." Then I met him, and my world turned upside-down.

Yeah, I know, I know: "You're just in the early stages of love, everything's rosy for now...." Don't you love cynics? I realize that I'm a bit ga-ga over him right now, but my eyes are open--I do see the areas that have the potential to be pitfalls in the future. But for now, jaded realist though I am, I've chosen to enjoy the beauty of fresh love, new romance, endless possibilities.

I hope all is well in your life, my friends.

Big News

Two big things happening right now in my world.

First, I am now officially a Big Sister. To clarify, I have been a "big sister" to my younger brother for 37 years. But as of today, I have been assigned a Little Sister via the Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization. She is 10 years old, and very excited about our new friendship. We're having our first outing together on Thursday. I'm very happy to be supporting this wonderful organization, and I'm looking forward to building a friendship with this young girl.

Second, things are moving forward with my boyfriend. He is so delightful! I speak to him every day, we get together 2 or 3 times a week, he's met my family, and I'm going to meet his. He bought me a lovely gift for my birthday last week, and I get so giggly and happy when I think about him that I feel like a teenager.

Life is good!

The New Journey

Unsure of my steps
I follow your lead
Not knowing what lies ahead
On the path we tread together

I keep pace with you
To stay within reach
Your light illuminating our way

I will trust you
Relax into your rhythm
Your easy stride tells me you are sure,
You are confident
In where we are headed

I sigh in relief
Accepting that the journey
Will be as much the point
As the destination

© 2007 pac611

The Amazing Date

I met someone from Match last week for coffee. It was a last-minute thing--I had resubscribed for a one-month period because someone interesting had e-mailed me earlier in the month. That had fallen through, and I hadn't had any other contacts worth noting, so I was going to cancel my subscription before they charged me for a second month. The day that I was planning to cancel, I got an e-mail from this guy.

Deciding to take a chance, I sent him my phone number and explained that I was cancelling my subscription, but he could call if he was interested. The next day he called, and that night we met for coffee. Things seemed to go well, so we planned a date for the following Friday night.

That was last night. What an AMAZING time we had! I have been dating online for a couple of years now, but this is the first guy that I've felt an immediate "click" with. He is funny and smart and has a sweet smile. He did his undergrad work as a music major (same as me), so we have a lot in common there. He keeps saying, "Wow! Someone I can take to an opera!"

We went to dinner and had a lovely time. While trying to talk afterwards, the waitstaff was cleaning up around us, so we decided to head out to a bar instead. Funny, since neither of us drinks. :)

We went to Downtown Disney and found an outdoor bar where we could sit and chat and spend more time getting to know each other. I was so excited to come across someone that "got" me and my sense of humor, and I felt like he was really excited too.

Afterwards, we went for a stroll around the grounds. There's a spot with a koi pond and a waterfall, but it was closed up for the night. We could see it down below us as we stood chatting. To my delight, he kissed me there, under the moonlight, with the sound of the waterfall behind us. We held hands as we walked back to his car.

It's hard not to get your hopes up--I have had other promising dates that have led nowhere. But here's to hoping that this sweet guy sticks around for a while and the Amazing Date turns into something special.

Final Final

I took my last final exam of the semester today. I am officially out of school for the summer.

I was thinking that I would probably get a B in the class. I've had A's on all my work, but I know for a fact that I missed 5 days of classes. Yeah, I know, I know--it was unavoidable, I assure you. The first time, I did not call the teacher and let him know before class began, but for each subsequent absence, I phoned his office before class and left a message, stating that I would be absent. I figured that covered 2 excused absences, leaving me with three, which would deduct points from my total.

Before we began, the teacher made some announcements, handed back errant papers that had never been collected, then he had a few people stand while he announced that they had only been absent twice all semester. We gave them a round of applause.

Then he called one girl's name to have her stand, and he announced she had missed 1 1/2 days (she had left early one day.) Again with the applause.

Then he called my name! Me, and a few people after me. He announced that, according to his records, we had only missed 1 day. HHHHUUUUHHH????? The guy that I sat next to all semester looked at me like "Yeah, right!" I leaned over and said it must have been because I always called. Shortly after the folks with perfect attendance got their round of applause, the teacher confirmed my guess, stating that he knows life sometimes gets in the way and that when people made the effort to let him know in advance, he didn't count it against them.

So I may get an A after all. Still, I could be on the bubble because of the final. It consisted of two parts--a take home analytical essay that he gave us last week, and an in-class objective exam that we took today. I know I nailed my essay. I'm good at that stuff. You may not be able to tell it from my rambling here, but I actually write well. Everything that I wrote for this class all semester got A's with glowing commentary, so I feel very confident with that half of the final.

However, the objective exam was a different matter. It spanned 3 texts and all of our in-class notes. He allowed us to have all of our materials with us, but even then I could not find answers to some of the questions he asked. There were 30 questions, and there were 5 about which I had NO idea. I put answers in for four of them (3 were multiple choice, the other two were fill-in-the-blank.) I wrote an answer on one fill-in-the-blank question, but the final one asked the translation for a certain phrase, and for the life of me I could not remember ever hearing that phrase. I knew which text it was being drawn from, and after completing the rest of the exam (which was quite easy), I spent an extra 25 minutes thumbing through the text, hoping to God that the answer would pop out.

It didn't. I spent 10 more minutes checking the other texts, though I knew that was futile. So I had to leave it blank. That always saddens me. If I could have even come up with a reasonable guess, I would have felt better, but I was at a total loss.

So now I'm done. It's just a matter of waiting till the grade posts to know what my status is. Next step is to start saving money for next semester, though technically I need to find a job and EARN money before I can save money....

Blech

I haven't felt much like blogging for a while. I got laid off from my job last Wednesday. I didn't see it coming, and they gave me no notice. "Corporate downsizing." Lovely.

In honesty, I needed to move on--it was a part-time job, which was great for my school schedule, but not for my wallet. So I'm on the job hunt again. I'm looking for full-time with benefits at this point, and school will be my secondary consideration.

On a positive note, I have started cycling, so I am sticking with my plan to get fit, despite being kind of depressed. It's probably helping to distract me, since I'm putting a lot of thought and planning into my excursions.

I did have one other really cool thing happen--on Sunday, I went with my brother down to La Jolla, and met one of my all-time favorite cartoonists: Berkeley Breathed, the creater of Bloom County and Opus. He was very cool, and he did a quick sketch of Opus in my scrapbook.

So even on the blah-est days, there can be good things happening.