Festering Loneliness

So there's a guy in Pennsylvania who was lonely, and after too many years of being lonely, he went on a shooting rampage. Because, somehow, that would solve his loneliness...? No, because it would vent his anger at the supposed instigators--women.

I'm not going to talk about gun control, I'm not going to talk about this particular whack job, I'm not even going to be so callous as to say that this made me glad I don't go to the gym. What I am going to say is that there's Loneliness, and then there is Festering Loneliness.

Everyone, at some point in their life, will experience Loneliness. You can be in a relationship, you could be in the middle of a huge crowd of people, or you may actually be alone, but that sense of being bereft will enter in, and physical proximity to people will not cure it. It may last, it may flit by...some personalities, I think, are more prone to loneliness, perhaps because they are deeply aware of their own individuality and the difficulty there is in truly connecting to another person.

But most people will move on, find that friend or lover, sometimes even a piece of art that lets them know they are not alone, they are not adrift, there is an anchor.

However, some people experience Festering Loneliness. They never seem to make that connection, they never grab on to the lifeline that pulls them ashore. They stay adrift, not seeing any way out. And it gnaws. It eats away at their soul, till at some point they lash out, in pain and fear and rage and desperation.

They don't all lash out with weapons, though those are the ones that make the news. I think it is like the experiments done with animals...you cannot keep them out of their natural conditions for too long without them displaying signs of mental disorders...neuroses, psychosis, rage...

And the natural conditions for humans is to be in relation to other humans. Festering Loneliness is a Catch-22...you are lonely and feel isolated, you brood on it and dwell on it, then you become a brooding person and people tend to shy away from you, which isolates you more...and so on.

I'm not sure what the answer is. We cannot force people to associate with those who are harboring a Festering Loneliness. Counseling would probably help, but to receive help you have to admit you need it, and most brooders have determined that they are not at fault for their status, it's all those people who are to blame.

And that, really, is my point. Whenever any of us starts to become aware that we are setting ourselves into a position of "me against the world", we need to pull ourselves up short and realize that we ourselves are the only common denominator in this equation. We are the only person we have control of, anyhow, so that's the best (and only) place to get to work.